I was flipping through one of the free weekly papers on the subway, and I saw a big ad for some kind of Viagra alternative. I don’t make a habit of checking these ads out (honest!), but this one caught my eye because rather than boast improved sexual performance or health, this one offers improved sexual activity. That’s right, take this pill and it’s a direct flight to sexville, or so the ad claimed. I’m pretty cynical about double wording in fine print, and this was some large font fine print. Maybe if I took this pill, two women would flock to my side, one on each arm, and the good times would indeed roll, but “sexual activity” could mean a lot of things. Maybe I’d end up with a man on each arm, which might be great for them, but wouldn’t do a lot for me. Maybe I’d have a cat or an ostrich on each arm, or maybe I’d just have an uncontrollable need to use each arm. Either way, I think I’ll play it safe and use what I’ve got…