Ah, the random thoughts of the day…
I was going to link an article that I saw this morning about the feds clearing out an Alberta jail to make room for next month’s anticipated G8 protesters, but the link has mysteriously vanished – it doesn’t show up in the original site’s search or anywhere on Google. How odd. For posterity, they’ve freed up 400 spots by moving provincial offenders to a federal prison or something.
Moving to health news, I have it on very good authority (my authority, actually), that a sprained foot can’t be cured by giving it a good workout to loosen up tight muscles. This is the second injury to my left leg in as many months, so I’m really hoping for that bionic stuff to show up on store shelves soon. I’d be willing to sign a waiver giving up my rights to become a super villain if I could just get some groovy sound effects going while I trot to work.
Speaking of work, here’s a crappy way to start the week – I got my annual pension statement, which tells me how much money I’ll be getting when I retire. In 2038. That’s only 13121 days away, so please start planning the party soon. I’m pretty sure that this statement is in the top 5 demoralizing things my company does to me. Why go through the trouble of pointing out how long I’m (theoretically) stuck so I can plan my retirement income with monetary amounts that won’t mean anything by the time the fateful day comes? I’d like to see a memo that says “when you retire in 2038, you will receive 2 oatmeal cookies and a boat every month”. It’d make the same amount of sense, and it’s something I could visualize.
I’m not going to hunt for the links, but it seems like there’ve been a lot of reports this week of people shooting themselves in the groin. They claim it’s accidental, but who knows… Whenever I see a trend in the news, I have to wonder if the actual frequency of the event is increasing or if it’s just the reporting of the event that’s going up. I mean, come on, people have been sticking guns down their pants for years in the movies, there’s got to be a decent rate of misfiring going on. Imagine if gun makers were to look into this as a marketing gimmick – “the new Smith & Wesson 392 Omega Destroyathoner has been specially designed to reduce the risk of blowing your own nuts off”, as the camera pans through the test labs…