Hey, it’s past 10 on a Saturday night and I’m at work!
It’s not as bad as it sounds. Ok, the working the weekend thing is pretty annoying, but I went out for dinner and stuff with friends tonight too. I have a life, yessir. Don’t let the work schedule fool you. I feel the need to explain this to the building security guard. That’s right, I’m insecure, but I’m secure in my insecurity.
Stuff that I know I’ll forget before I can do anything about them: there’s some IT school near TVA that has a sign out on the street. One of their programs is Certified Webmaster of Science. Do you think they understand how diluted “certifications” can get? Is this as funny to the owners of the school as it is to me?
Another thing that’s new near TVA: Hooters. (I’d post a link, but I’m at work, which should give you enough of an idea if you haven’t got a Hooters near you. It’s not a strip bar, just a tight shirts and short pants bar.) This is great, because sometimes it’s hard to give directions, and now I can just say we’re a block West of Hooters, and it’s all perfectly clear. They have a sign out front too. It says “kids eat free on weekends”. I’m told that people actually do go there with their families. Future leaders of the free world, I’m sure.
Back to proving that I did do social things this evening, we went for some of that vegan soft serve I mentioned a while ago. After I ordered mine, the lady was about to pour it out of the machine and she turned to me and said “this is the no fat no dairy stuff, you know that, right?” That was kind of the whole point, and I can’t imagine anyone complaining about it because it’s the tastiest stuff ever, so I decided to take it as a compliment towards my incredible physique, a more subtle version of “sir, you are far too fit for a non fat product, and your skin is far too perfect for a non-dairy dessert. Please, allow me to serve you a fatty lump of cow pus”, if you will. That’s right, she was complimenting my appearance. Why, she was practically hitting on me! She was probably trying to get my phone number. I can see it all now. “Sir,” she almost said, “may I please serve you some dairy products, and rest assured if you give me your phone number I will call you later this evening to see if you are suffering from any symptoms commonly associated with lactose consumption, and in the event that you are, which I would find unlikely, for your high level of health is so astoundingly obvious, you may also give me your address and I will be over to administer to your discomfort, for we are a full service establishment, if you know what I mean, sir.”
It’s just as well that the shop was busy and she just served me what I ordered, anyway. What with being at work and all.