We’re entering into the final holiday stretch, where I frantically realize that I have no suitable gift for AngelA, despite having come up with plans A through F. Actually it’s still good, and tomorrow should steal the deal. That was probably supposed to be “seal the deal”, but somehow in this huge commercialpalooza, that seems more appropriate. Now, before you get all “stop trying to buy love” on me, I’ll have you know that it’s fully tax deductible. Ok, not really, but we’re at that magic point in the relationship where we both like pretty much the same things, so anything I get for her is basically a present for me. I do have a tradition of attempting some insane production that takes far more time than money, and this year is no exception, but I may have overstepped my abilities this time. Whatever, tomorrow I’ll cover it in frosting, and if that doesn’t do it, I’ll just, I don’t know, cut off my big toe. Or something. I can’t say any more than that in case AngelA actually reads this.
In the meantime, I’ve been bouncing from party to party, and it can’t be a party in December without a Secret Santa gift exchange. So far, I’ve scored a bottle of port, a keychain with a vomitting baby on it, and a few other things that deserve further commentary. Nothing against the booze or the keychain, but I can’t say too much more about them, is all.
A magazine – not just any magazine, this is the January 2003 issue of Seventeen, featuring an interview with Avril Lavigne, and it also has several quizzes (I’m ruled by my spirit, so if I see a cute boy I like, I’m supposed to do whatever my body tells me to do.) Interestingly, the subscription offer cards have a deal that will give me 44% off the cover price, based on a cover price that doesn’t exist, but I have to add the GST myself. The GST is a Canadian tax, and in fact this offer is only good in Canada, but that doesn’t stop the reply card from being “no postage necessary if mailed in the United States“. I don’t think like a 12 year old girl, apparently. Yet.
Fridge Magnets – they’re shaped like push pins. The copy on the back prevents them from ever getting opened, because it’s not often that you see these three words used together: “Strong. Impressive. Small.”
Touchable Bubbles – This is all the text on the front of the package: “Touchable Bubbles… The incredible bubbles you can touch! Safe… Non-Toxic… Do not drink the bubble solution” That would be the non-toxic solution, right? The back is a lovely sampling of Engrish: “Wait a few seconds and see the colorful bubbles change the color”, “The film is easily quitted, wiped or flushed by water, so it won’t cause any pollution”, and a few other gems.
We’re moving into the family round now, so the gifts might not be as funny, but all I know is I’m on vacation and I don’t have much packaging to do. Life’s geting sweet.