Category: I saw what I saw

To be fair, I don’t know if they even serve dinner.  Though maybe it’s a super-cool secret menu. If I owned a restaurant* I’d have a secret menu where you could order any item burned to a crisp, which would be extra funny because it’d be a raw foods place.

* Fun fact: I once wanted to open a juice bar called “Freshly Porn” but it turns out that a funny name isn’t a 1:1 replacement for a business plan. Though I suppose I could focus this so-called-by-me talent into a gig as a branding specialist for other companies with actual plans, but I suspect I’d save the really hilarious ones for myself, or at least that’d be my excuse for having zero sales of zingers like, uh, “Freshly Porn.” (Yeah, like I’m going to give away all my best ones in this post!)

From a recent Bloomberg Businessweek article – whoever came up with the metric system is kicking himself for not thinking of the soda cans and babies system.

One of the many underrated perks to living downtown is the availability of construction sites pretty much everywhere.  I don’t know the construction-to-Starbucks ratio, but we have a lot of Starbucks, and I’m pretty sure we have more construction.  And sure, it means noise, closed streets and sidewalks, and other inconveniences, but you gain the advantage of clearly identified dangers!

I don’t know when it started, but at some point construction companies started giving names to their dangers instead of just using generic “Danger Keep Out” signs.  So you get lots of stuff like this from the fine folks at Safety Media:

And you can write whatever you want in there!  And many people do. But this isn’t about them, it’s about me, me, me, because I have a camera.

Today it’s all about holes.  Because holes are dangerous.  Especially when they’re called “excavations”

Of course, some people might not know what an “excavation” is, especially when they’re distracted by the big gaping hole, so the site this picture was taken from was helpfully bilingual:

Sometimes these signs are a little more descriptive.  Perhaps too descriptive:

Note that there were no holes or excavations in sight, so I can only assume they were talking about the out house. Yep, that’s a danger zone.

My personal favourite though is one near my house, which never stops making me smile:

Sure, I may be only 12 years old in a lot of ways, but hey, at least I’m safe from the dangers!

Found at a jewelry shop near Dundas and Something:

Now, unless the alchemists have finally sorted it out and come up with a way to make new gold instead of just using the stuff that’s in the ground, I’m pretty sure all gold is old gold.  And I’m guessing the store would buy any gold you brought in (unless it was crazy Cash For Gold troll gold) so it’s not really a problem, more of a marketing thing to spur thoughts of “old” gold sitting around in dressers, unused and ready for a payoff, but still, the scientist in me couldn’t resist.

Of course, every month you’ll be like, “why am I paying this guy’s tree mortgage? I’d totally buy my own tree and start building assets if I could just get the down payment together.  Meh, with the way the market’s going, maybe I should wait a bit anyway.”