(1:20)
I was out with some friends last night and one of them was a student of East Asian culture. We got to talking about all the crazy advanced civilization stuff going on in Japan about a thousand years ago, and it struck me that the only reason we know any of this is because they told us it was so. Isn’t it possible that as soon as the first traders from another country came calling the Japanese got together and formed a plan? “Yeah, hi, you should have been here last week. 100 story buildings, nuclear power, you name it, but yeah, big lizard, we call him Godzilla, he shows up every once in awhile, and, um, that’s why the huts. But don’t mess with us, we’re much more advanced than you are.”
We need to form a similar plan for the day the UFOs land. Yeah, they’ll have flying saucers, but they’ll be no match for our… COLD FUSION POWERED SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERS! They’re just not here right now. Terrorists. Zombie terrorists. Yeah, we could make more shakers, but then the zombie terrorists will have won. You understand. We’ve got even better stuff coming out soon anyway. So don’t mess with us. We’re very advanced.