Ok, I was so close to getting back to a daily schedule, but, yeah, stuff.
Maybe I’m just anal, but I’m really getting annoyed by the sheer number of dumb mistakes I’m seeing in the world. I know I’m nowhere near perfect, and I can’t write to save my life (although I haven’t tested that theory yet), but I’m not getting paid millions of dollars. In the hopes that I might one day get paid millions of dollars, I’m not going to spell check this posting. Until that day comes, here are a few guidelines that might help you in your mission to not annoy me:
When the CIO of a large multinational organization sends an email to everyone requesting them to fill out an online survey, it’d be nice if the survey actually works. You know, what with being the boss of all things tech and all. Especially if it’s regarding an issue that most cynical people feel is being brought up as a PR move. Ok, I’ve just heard that some people got it working, but they don’t sit near me.
If you’re publishing a systems newsletter in PDF format, and you’re going to distribute it via the intranet, please consider starting your links with “http://”. This is a newsletter by and for the most technical people in the organization, for sweet crap’s sake.
If you’re providing free software to enhance your product, don’t ask me to enter a license key. Furthermore, don’t write the license key on the CD that I need to put in the drive to install the damned software. One more tip: don’t write two different keys on the same CD if only one of them is valid.
Finally, if you’re going to deliver a keynote speech at Comdex, please don’t confuse Star Wars and Star Trek. I could care less, but I don’t need to overhear all the discussions about it from Simpsons comic book guy impersonators. There are other things you should not do in a keynote speech, but I’ll just provide the relevant quote from the promotional brochure and you can make your own list. The speaker is Lib Gibson, President of Bell Globemedia Interactive. They own a bunch of TV stations, ISPs, newspapers, etc.
Question: Your keynote is tentatively titled “Building an Internet Energy Field.” What is an Internet energy field, and what are some key components in creating one?
Answer: In Star Wars, there’s that invisible shimmer. When you come up to it [to exit], you kind of bounce back. We want to maintain our strong brands that have particular appeal and deep loyalty. There’s no need to go outside of the portal, because we’ll provide you with whatever you need, from wherever you entered the site.
You know, that’d make a great mission statement: “There’s no need to go outside the portal”. I think I’ll put it up in my bathroom.