I was flipping through one of the free weekly papers on the subway, and I saw a big ad for some kind of Viagra alternative. I don’t make a habit of checking these ads out (honest!), but this one caught my eye because rather than boast improved sexual performance or health, this one offers improved sexual activity. That’s right, take this pill and it’s a direct flight to sexville, or so the ad claimed. I’m pretty cynical about double wording in fine print, and this was some large font fine print. Maybe if I took this pill, two women would flock to my side, one on each arm, and the good times would indeed roll, but “sexual activity” could mean a lot of things. Maybe I’d end up with a man on each arm, which might be great for them, but wouldn’t do a lot for me. Maybe I’d have a cat or an ostrich on each arm, or maybe I’d just have an uncontrollable need to use each arm. Either way, I think I’ll play it safe and use what I’ve got…

I’m in a semi decent mood today, and it really didn’t take much – a lot of my jeans are at the point where they can’t be worn. Maybe it’s the way I walk, I don’t know, but eventually my jeans develop holes in the crotch that I can get away with for a while, but eventually the hole is big enough that it’s just not going to work. In the past, that’s been the time that I went shopping for new pants. I really hate clothes shopping, so a multiple pant failure like I’m facing right now is really depressing, not to mention costly. You might be screaming the obvious answer out, but it really didn’t occur to me up to today. I’ve never done much sewing. Still, I’m reasonably educated, not a total clutz with my hands, and I figure I’ve got a shot at having some of the same basic skills that an Indonesian 12 year old has. I picked up a needle and thread, and hot damn! My pants are good as new, except they’re already broken in. I didn’t even stab myself. If this works out, I’ll take care of the other 3 or 4 pairs. I’m so proud of myself it’s really hard to resist the urge to tell people to look at my crotch. As it is I’ve been inspecting it far more than usual…

Roberta sent me some stories about copyright legislation in the USA, which has a very different but still depressing as hell attitude: they want to just ban everything. For the record, article one and article two. My favourite is the quote by Jack Valenti, head of the MPAA – “It is this infection which corrodes the future of creative works“. Um, Jack, it’s the future of making money off of other people’s creative works that you’re worried about. This is all very depressing. When you combine the music stuff with my city’s plan to basically ban postering, the fact that you can’t get a broadcasting license without millions of dollars, and the ever-increasing consolidation of retail book stores, it looks like the internet is fast becoming the last refuge for freedom of expression, and even that is subject to the whims of government and business. As I read recently, “free speech is a wonderful thing, as long as nobody’s listening”. The irony of me reading many of these stories from my desk at a large multinational corporation isn’t lost on me, and it’s really dragging me down. To add to all the upbeat stuff in my life (which really DOES have some good stuff going on in it, by the way), I’m just gonna add that when someone spends the morning worrying about a baby bird they saw on the sidewalk on the way to work, and then buys chicken wings for lunch, I really don’t know what to say, especially when my boss bought the same thing. Ok, actual upbeat stuff – Angela got accepted into a cool art show, so she’s really happy about that, and we’ll put something up about it on her web site, which we registered but haven’t put together yet, and Vegan Porn has climbed its way to number seven on the Google search for porn. About 200 people got exposed to a variety of vegan stories yesterday when they least expected it, which is double or triple the earlier rates, so I’m happy about that. Oddly, I’ve dropped to thirty on the search for vegan…

The alarm clock didn’t go off this morning, for reasons that I apparently thought were really funny. I usually get up at 6, but since I was up really late last night working on some newsletter stuff I was a bit happy to see the 7:34 on the clock this morning. I think it’d be highly profitable to start a company that specializes in shutting off your alarm clock when you least expect it. It’d be a subscription service, and there’d be no cancelling. Once you pay for the year you’re just guaranteed, say, 10 alarm malfunctions. We could use anything from power outages to enlisting the aid of ninjas to acheive this. I know I could use this, and I’m the essence of at least 30 target markets!

You know, I’ve been pretty honest about copying CDs. I’ve even bought some that Angela already owned, just so we could both listen to them at work at the same time. Despite the repeated idiocy of groups like the RIAA, I always figured that copying music is a lot like software piracy, so on principle I tried to avoid it. It turns out I’m an idiot, and this aricle over at Kuro5hin proves it. The Canadian government has been charging a levy on all recordable media (audio tapes, CD-Rs, etc) specifically because of piracy. I knew about this, but I thought that further piracy would only encourage more taxes. It turns out that the law that created the levy also gives me the right to copy music for my own use. The head of the Canadian Copyright Board calls it a “quid pro quo”. Why don’t they advertise this at HMV? There are a few problems here. 1) I have to pay Celine Dion if I decide to back up my hard drive to CD-R. 2) The money is given out based on airplay and sales, which means copying the music of small bands I like still costs them money and lines the pockets of Celine Dion. 3) Nothing against Celine Dion (besides the obvious), but all the money goes to the Canadian music industry. If I copy the work of an American band, why does Celine Dion get the money? 4) Speaking of Celine Dion, isn’t her latest CD copy protected specifically to prevent me from exercising my legal (and paid for) right to copy her music for private use? How’s that legal? So now, as I sit listening to Propagandhi, I’m at a loss as to what to do. My gut instinct was to stop buying CDs ever again, but that hurts the bands I love far more than it hurts Celine Dion. It’s quite possible that I’ve misunderstood something, but I think the essence is correct – Celine Dion is making money no matter what I do. Bah. I have other (non-web) articles to write tonight.

I recently read an article that said the average man has 12 sex partners in his lifetime, and his wife or girlfriend has only 4. On the face of it, this can’t happen, assuming the population is balanced between men and women. Of course, there are other factors, like “his wife or girlfriend”, implying a lot of single women sleeping around to fix the curve, or possibly “sex partners” implying gay sex as a way to bump up the numbers, but I’m thinking there’s some lying going on here. The question is, are the “average men” pumping up the stats, or are the “wives and girlfriends” bringing them down? It’s a totally different ballgame if the women stats are obtained by asking the guys… Just some food for thought on a Friday afternoon.

There’s a guy in Australia who changed his name, and I guess the country’s trying to get him to change it back or something, because they won’t let him get a passport. Prime Minister John Piss the Family Court and Legal Aid isn’t going down without a fight, but the fact that it’s an adopted name is a real sign of poor planning. Remember to name your children after political offices and royal titles at birth people, ’cause later is too late. Actually, I think Germany and Quebec have official departments of names that have to ok the names first, kinda the Department of Preventing Schoolyard Abuse, so timing and geography are key.

They’ve blocked off the trail that I run on while they’re working on a bridge, and the construction guy said it’ll be four months before they get it fixed! Four months! Just had to say that. I probably won’t post this on VP since I can’t find a good link bringing the idea together, so y’all can think about this: There’s this guy up on charges related to the disappearance of 50 or so women in British Columbia. The police have been having a hard time finding the remains of the women on his farm, so it’s taking a while for the case to build. Farm? Yeah, he runs a pig farm. Anyone see the movie Snatch? Anyone want to reconsider their role in the food chain?

Here’s something to think about – it was warmer today, so I tried on my new long sleeve running shirt. It’s one of those funky micro fibre deals with the wicking of the moisture and stuff. Ok, whatever, I never really bought into that hype. Until now. This thing makes me feel colder than if I’m not wearing anything. I ran with it and a jacket, and when I got home, it was mostly dry even though the jacket was soaked with sweat. The thought? It was made in Vancouver, Canada, which is different than my made in Mexico pieces of crap. I’m not knocking Mexico, I’m knocking companies that make their products in other (cheaper) countries. Quality control doesn’t really seem to figure into the pie charts for these guys. Another example: my New Balance running shoes are made in the USA, and they’re the best shoes I’ve ever used. My New Balance day to day shoes were made in China, and they’re falling apart in record time. I realize that North American stuff might still get made in sweatshops, but damn, free trade and globalization don’t seem to be working out too well for me.

An electricity company in the States gave out their customer number, but it turned out to be a phone sex line. They’re deregulating hydro in my province in a month or two. I hope the marketing goofs are paying attention.